Written by Blazing Saddle
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Topics: Joanna Lumley

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

image for Joanna Lumley to Emigrate - Statement From 4th Plinth
Ms Lumley in character as Purdey of The Avengers about to kill 27

Joanna Lumley, the well-known former Gurkha soldier gender reassignment and height enhancement celebrity is to leave the United Kingdom forever.

"As Rifleman Limbahadur Gurung, I served this country well" Ms Lumley stated from her lofty vantage point on the 4th plinth in Trafalgar Square, "and I expected this country to honour my sacrifice".

Ms Lumley went on to explain that she had entered the Secret Service together with big pouffe Patrick McNee and that the Avengers, a well-known 1970's TV series had in fact been a documentary.

"I have not even been invited to parachute into the Big Brother house - and, let's face it, next to escorting Dark Lord Mangelson to a ball (charity or raffle) there is no further to sink".

Ms Lumley went on to comment that her veterans pension was a disgrace and the medals would not fit the gas meter.

"No Damehood! No MBE! Screw 'em - I'm orf back to that darling little island hideaway they filmed me in - you remember - I used my bra for slippers! They didn't dare show what I used my

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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