Total apathy was the plucky British TV viewing public's reaction to the current season of Big Brother, currently being aired on Channel 4.
It seems that nobody cares a jot about what goes on in the BB house any more. The tabloids are virtually ignoring the whole thing, which has provided a rich staple for red-top writers for years, and concentrating on other things instead.
BB Producer, Spud Couchette hotly denied that the show was in trouble, describing it for the thousandth time as a unique opportunity to observe the human psyche in all its guises. He went on to claim that the show would gather momentum as it progressed.
We spoke to a Danish resident of the UK who has been a BB fanatic from the start. Mutilator Bloodaxe (32) told us:
"I've given up on the show. It's garbage. Nobody cares about a bunch of idiots performing stupid tasks any more. We've all got more important things to waste our fretting time on. Like jobs, and bankers, and global warming. Not to mention the war in Afghanistan. BB should just shut down and call it a day."
When we asked a bunch of High Street shoppers what it would take to make them watch BB again? Answers ranged from 'waterboarding' to 'a really gruesome murder, live, on air, with lots of blood and guts'
Most just said that nothing would tempt them to watch such self indulgent crap ever again.
Davina McCall's ego, incredibly remains undamaged. She was reported to be as patronising as ever, only slightly more hysterical than usual.
More as we get it.
We just got it. BB has been axed.
Don't forget, you read it here first.