Written by Blazing Saddle
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Topics: masturbation

Tuesday, 21 July 2009

image for One Off The Wrist For The Olympics?
A typically developed Onanist enthusiast's grip.

Occupational masturbation seems to be a developing trend and is likely to be included in the 2012 Olympics as a demonstration event.

The government regulatory body, Offtoss, has approved the event format.

Health and Safety officials have carried out stringent risk assessments and have decided that the event, whilst risky during the vinegar strokes when the eyes are tightly closed, may be permitted to proceed provided the contestants are suitably equipped with protective clothing.

Safety equipment will include latex gloves (Sensitol lubricated) and welding goggles.

Likely contestants include train drivers, traffic wardens, Community Service Police Officers and Members of Parliament.

Olympic trials begin in September at Bisley, the National Shooting Centre, and are expected to produce a squad of hopefuls.

Specialities will include straight, gay and those who whack one off to a picture of Cherie Blair. Other fetishes need not apply.

Please log on to wankingmatters.web for entry details - but be warned- standards are high and you may expect stiff competition.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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