It has today been announced that Jezza and Subo are to go their separate ways.
Citing irreconcilable differences, Susan has applied for a divorce - even though they have been married for less than 2 weeks.
The judge has questioned the short duration of the marriage and asked if it had been consummated.
"That's the problem" Susan answered "he's consummating all the time! I haven't bothered with knickers since we came back from honeymoon".
Despite a busy schedule filming and researching for Top Gear, Clarkson has had time to wear his genitalia to a stump during the marriage. He is to have Richard (Dick) Hammond grafted to his groin to provide a substitute (smaller) penis.
Richard Hammond has refused to comment, but a spokesperson has stated that, depending on which way round Hammond is attached to Clarkson, they will decide whether or not to use James May's wig as pubic hair.
A replacement Top Gear presenter is being sought and applications should be made on a postcard to