Written by Chamone
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Topics: Fat

Monday, 20 July 2009

image for Alison Moyet crushes 12 in food hall stampede

Fat 80's soul singer Alison Moyet crushed 12 not fat people as she pushed her way through a crowded food hall in Bradford today.

The obese, slightly scary looking songstress knocked aside the other customers like pinball's as she rushed to get to the top of the queue for extra spicy potato wedges.
Witnesses describe seeing bodies being flung through the air like knickers on a washing line on a very windy day.

This is the worst fatty-based incident since 'Pie in the Sky' and 'Whitnail and I' actor Richard Griffiths gave a demonstration on how to do a belly flop in the local pool in 1994.

Moyet - a large imposing woman with a deep, masculine voice and a love of wearing smocks - later apologised and visited the injured in hospital.
She was later told to leave after she raided the hospital canteen for Snickers and those extra large bags of M&M's.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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