There will be no more bacon until Cherie Blair reveals where she got her swine flu.
The probability exists that Ms Blair has used undue influence to obtain a better virus than that available to the man in the street. Parliamentary Expenses investigators are pursuing several lines of enquiry.
Swine are concerned that they will be blamed if a more virulent virus mutates during Ms Blair's illness.
The combination of Grinning Gibbon Flu with Swine flu is awful to contemplate.
Ugly, greedy, frogmouthed people with legal training would however be the most likely victims and the almost certain prospect of the death of most lawyers is some comfort.
The British Pig Herd has withdrawn its support of the manufacture of Swine Flu vaccine and has set up picket lines at plasma collection centres.
Mr Tony Blair, Centre of the Universe was advised by the Dark Lord Mangelson, not to comment.