Written by Bob Muppet
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Wednesday, 20 March 2002

image for Blair's Worrying Wrinkly Erections
Makes you very, very, stiff

Tony Blair was in jubilant mood, today, because he had solved the problem of funding pensions for the ageing population. "It's so simple" he enthused, "I'll kill the wrinkly old gits off with my new 'wonder- drug', which I've named DIE-AGRA".

"This is how it works", he enthused. "The drug is a mixture of the impotence drug, Viagra, to which my boffins have added Cyanide" he expounded.

"Initially, the drug works like Viagra and gives stiffness to the 'wedding tackle' but then ----- (this is the clever bit) the Cyanide kicks in and the stiffness spreads to the entire body -- and before you can say John Prescott's a pussy cat, we've got one less wrinkly to worry about!"

John Chadwick, an old person, vouched for the effectiveness of the drug. "My mate, Sid, took a pill of Die-agra, before a night of passion with his missus."

"He ended up stiffer than a piece of pork crackling ---- but at least he went with a smile on his face!"

"You don't get many smiles under New Labour, now, do you?" he sobbed, in poverty.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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