The editor of theSpoof.com and his beloved wife get hot and horny at the weekend by dressing up as everybody's favourite* writing duo Jesus Budda and Chamone.
Mark Lowton and his good lady wife - who has yet to be given a name - have spent thousands of pounds on plastic surgery and accessories in order to both look and act like the infamous couple.
Lowton mostly likes dressing up as Chamone because he says he likes to wear lipstick and take it up the bum. His already portly wife has even had reverse liposuction in order to get that Jesus Budda 'full bodied' look.
"I like growing my hair long and doing the girly kind of things, and my fine hefty wife really gives me a damn good rimming - but only if I'm naughty, like!", grinned Lowton in his thick Lancashire accent.
Lowton admires greatly the two unquestionably beautiful writers and at night he makes paper cutouts of them and dangles them over his bed so that he can have a sneaky wank to them.
But Lowton's greatest piece of JB/Chamone memorabilia is the pile of unanswered e-mail's sent to him from the glamorous pair:
"They send me emails sometimes asking the occasional stupid question or wanting to know why a story has been deleted/refused/banned, but I dare not answer them. I'm much too shy…", he bashfully chuckles, "I'd get tongue-tied and make a complete and utter arse of myself!"
* May not technically be true. Terms and conditions apply. Please consume within 7 days of opening. Portions of this story contain nutty shit.