Written by Chamone
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Topics: Satan

Monday, 13 July 2009

image for Child Possessed by Satan Says He Wont Go To Bed
Mwahahahahaa!

A local woman's child, who was recently diagnosed as having been possessed by the Devil, has refused all efforts to go to bed.

Mrs. Brady's 4-year old son Jamie has done everything in his demonic power to avoid having a nap, including rotating his head 360º, vomiting pea soup and simulating masturbation with a crucifix.

"I can deal with the satanic voice and the smell of brimstone but I cannot cope with him not cooperating at bedtime", said Mrs. Brady.

The poor woman has tried reading bedtime stories, singing lullabies and doing shadow puppets on the walls to try and make the young lad fall asleep but so far to no avail.

"First he won't go to bed, then next he'll be refusing to brush his teeth…where will it all end? I'm at my wits end!", sobbed the distracted woman.

Experts have consoled her by saying that the boy will eventually have to go to bed sometime and not to worry too much. Either that, or he will go mad and try and kill her and her family with his vicious claws.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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