Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: Penis, Marriage

Monday, 13 July 2009

image for Man With Two Knobs Seeks Second Marriage.
Masturbation was a real effort for Dick Phillpot

Dick Phillpot, the only man in the UK with two knobs wants the bigamy laws changed to enable him to marry a second time. "I'm too much for one woman. Doris tries her best but she gets knackered just as number 2 is waking up. If I could take a second wife it would help both of us. I could lead a fully satisfied life and Doris could get some sleep."

At present Phillpot would risk being prosecuted for bigamy. He argues that the laws do not take 'gifted' people, such as himself, into consideration. He also refuses to have a surgical reduction in the number of penises. "Would you want to go through that? I believe that my human rights are being violated (and Doris' too for that matter) and I am prepared to fight all the way.

Help may be close at hand. Fanny Kuntesson, the Swedish woman famous for having two vaginas, has heard of Phillpot's plight and is seeking a meeting with him. "If I can persuade him to leave Doris then we have a chance of finding true love."

Phillpot was due to meet his legal advisers today to begin official legal proceedings.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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