Written by IainB
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Monday, 13 July 2009

image for British Troops "Woefully Under Protected"
The new armoured personnel carriers have come under criticism

Gordon Brown has vehemently denied that the sponsorship deal with ToyMaster, Britain's largest chain of Toy Superstores, has put the gallant British Troops at risk in Afghanistan.

Brigadier General Alex Dent has come out in support of his troops.

"It's despicable," he said, with a lot of spittle. "The lads are trying to fight the Taliban using water pistols, while protected by nothing more repellent than a Lego helmet and a Sticklebrick vest. I know that petrol is dear at the moment, but is that any excuse to have the lads peddling into battle in kiddies peddle-cars?"

Several of our brave service men and women's lives have been lost when using the new Department of Defence minefield clearing device. It transpires that this device is nothing more than a pogo stick painted khaki.

And whilst the soldiers appreciate that their tents can be erected in seconds thanks to the unique spring loaded action, they do not appreciate that they are brightly coloured with primary colours. Digging has also become a chore for the men and women of the armed services thanks to being sent three thousand plastic spades and buckets.

There also appears to have been a mix-up with the order requisition forms.

"When I ordered 50 tanks," said Dent, "I assumed, probably naively, that they would realise I didn't want somewhere to keep fish!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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