An advertisement on satirical website TheSpoof.com promising that people could grow in length by 2 to 3 inches in as many weeks has been exposed as fraudulent.
Government spokesman Ronan Keating RN (Retd) told me:
"It's that bloody website again. You can't believe a single word you read on there. We've had so many complaints from short-arses who thought they were in with a chance of growing taller...It's a disgrace. Something should be done about it."
An insider, who can't be named for legal reasons (Skoob) me:
"It's that Lowton's brother again. Or that Lowton himself. I love the site but I'm sick of it. I've been trying to set up dates with Muslim women, lose weight, grow taller, put some lead back in my pencil, buy Michael Jackson memorabilia, set up dates with women in my area (but please don't tell the Mrs or I'll come looking for you) and all manner of jiggery pokery. But it's all a con. I'm going to stick with You-Tube in future. Sod TheSpoof.
"And cheese on toast.
"And 700,000 points you never really got.
"Hang on...there's an ad running for guys to meet one legged Jesus Budda impersonators with a lisp...and cleavage"
More Spoof related silliness as I get it.