Written by JP Johnston
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Wednesday, 8 July 2009

image for New MI6 C In "Filthy" Internet Pictures
Rubber Billiards - owch

London, Rooters - The new head of MI6, Sir John Sawyers, has been immersed in further scandal as it emerged his wife has posted pictures of the couple taking part in "unusual sexual activity" on internet social web picture talk dirty site Vicebook.

The pictures, which were removed under emergency legislation last night, apparently show Sawyers and his wife "Dogging" (having outdoor intercourse in front of an audience of strangers as if you didn't know) in a car park near Southend, Essex, wearing bondage clothing and masks and playing sado-masochistic "ping-pong" (sticking roughened table tennis balls up each other's arses and farting them at each other, of course) at their sumptuous London home, in company of other civil servants, and indulging in perverted games of "rubber billiards" (don't pretend you haven't. I know I have) with their great Dane, Norbert.

MI6, more properly known as "_", are stubbornly claiming not to exist. When asked what building they were guarding, security personnel told me it was "A gay bar and nightclub, and if you want in you have to let me have you." I said yes but then ran away when he took his pants off.

More developments as they appear. If you don't hear any more, you know what's happened.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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