Notorious ex-cop, Black Magician and evil paedophile, better known as Satan, alias McFadden from Dumfries and leader of the Dumfrisian Satanic Circle was convicted today.
Although being medically proven sane, Satan, when asked by the Judge why he enjoyed dressing up in black cloaks, scaring the shit out wee boys and sexually abusing them, he replied, " eaay because I'm Satan!"
"I have the right to rape, children, men, women, animals, lamposts, Judges, Lawyers, highly ranked police officers and any other fucking thing that crosses my path."
"In fact during my undercover work as a cop I frequently drunk the blood of murder victims and when left alone, shagged them, lubbly, jubbly!"
The Judge after a mutliple heart attack caused by memories of participating in several satanic gatherings himself, duly passed sentence:
"Satan, alias McFadden, how old are you?"
Satan, alias McFadden replied, "10000000 years my honour."
"That's what you'll fucking get," replied the judge and promptly, peacefully passed away!
Satan, alias McFadden, smiled a bestial, evil smile and was marched off to party with the rest of the Satans in the Glasgow High Security "Loony Bin"!!!!!