Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 7 July 2009

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The funeral of Albert Jackson in Burnley, Lancs today descended into farce, prompting enraged Jackson family members to call for tighter governent controls over funerals.

Albert Jackson,(83) founder of a thriving local business empire died last Tuesday, and was due to be taken to a church for the funeral service in a horse drawn carriage.

However, the carriage driver lost control as the carriage sped down a steep hill. A wheel broke off and the coffin was catapulted into the road, where the lid sprang open and Albert Jackson's body was thrown clear.

Amid scenes of confusion, family members scrambled to put the body back in the coffin. Eventually a passer by managed to fix the wheel, the horses were calmed down, and the procession to the church passed without further incident.

Then, during the service, the priest was so drunk that he kept trying to baptize the coffin, and a replacement had to be rushed to the scene, but even he continued the farce by continually referring to Albert as 'Michael' during the service.

At the wake venue, the beer taps were out of action due to an electrical fault so mourners had to make do with warm, bottled beer.

"It were a right proper farce," one told us.

More funereal frolics as we get them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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