Martians have been strongly advised to stay away from the Michael Jackson Memorial at the Staples Center in LA, even if they have paid extortionate prices for event tickets on e-Bay.
"Michael was one of us," the Rev Al Sharpton preached. "He lived like one of us. He weren't no goddam Martian, despite what people said. We don't want no damned ass-probing aliens here, comin' down in their fancy spaceships. Sides, where would they park?"
Officer Mutilator Bloodaxe of the LAPD told us:
"For once we agree with Al the lardass. We don't want Martians attending the event. However, we understand that there will be Martians out there who pay no heed to the warnings and come anyway. We would appeal to those Martian shape-shifters to assume human form, and leave the anal probes and their ray guns at home."
Billie Jean Ben, a Martian butt prober, told us:
"They can't stop us coming. They may try, but Michael was one of us and some Martians feel obliged to pay their respects. Shamone!"
Writers for satirical website www.theSpoof.com have agreed to suspend all posting of satirical stories for 24 hours as a mark of respect and appreciation of the life of Michael Jackson.
More Jackson related jiggery-pokery as we get it.