Written by Michael Simmonite
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Wednesday, 20 March 2002

image for Sir Elton John Asked To Sing At QM's Funeral
Sir Elton, in a hurry.

The remaining members of the Royal Family have asked Sir Elton John to sing "There's No-one Quite Like Grandma" at The Queen Mother's funeral. The song - which was so beautifully sung by St Winifred's Girl's School Choir back in 1981 to commemorate the QM's 80th birthday - was a firm favourite with Her former Royal Highness, the ex Queen mother.

Sir Elton was reported to be 'deeply interested' in the proposal and early reports suggest that the gig will in fact go ahead.

Sir Elton, who sang the unforgettable rendition of 'Candle in the Wind' at Princess Diana's funeral, was a close friend of the Queen Mother and apparently sees this as an apt and fitting tribute to 'a very special old woman' as he affectionately used to refer to her.

Elton's agent said last night: "Sir Elton wants to change the song in some way to make it unique to the Queen Mother - much in the same way as he did with Candle in The Wind for Princess Diana."

Changing the lyrics, however, is not an option. "The lyrics are just perfect as they are," he said.

"A more likely option is to change the tune. Sir Elton has suggested singing the lyrics to the tune of 'Saturday Night's all right for Fighting' but The Queen and the other Royals prefer 'Crocodile Rock'.

Sir Elton himself was very enthusiastic about the prospect. "It won't do me any harm at all," he told us earlier this morning. "I might even get another Knighthood. Sir Sir Elton John. Got a nice ring to it, hasn't it?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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