Written by Mark Lowton
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Monday, 6 July 2009

image for Suspicious Package Closes Edinburgh Airport
It's a bomb! No...wait...it's a co...

Security staff at Britain's fifth favourite airport have evacuated the complex following the discovery of a suspicious package.

The closure occurred on Monday afternoon after staff were alerted to the package by concerned travellers.

"It looked a little odd, not like anything I'd seen before," explained one eye-witness. "It was sort of long and bulbous at the end, a bit like a rocket, and it had ridges all the way down it."

When security staff approached the object it began emitting a buzzing noise and the evacuation was ordered.

A controlled explosion has taken place and investigators will attempt to discover exactly what the object was.

We obtained an image of the object, captured in a mirror in the background of a photo taken by holidaymaker Jock Strap. The photo shows a cryptic message scribed on one side which read "sremmus nna."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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