Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Tennis

Monday, 6 July 2009

image for British Scientists discover new British sickness, "Loseritis"
Federer, not afflicted by the Brit only disease called "Loseritis"!!!

Scientists have recently been studying the lack of British sporting success at the very top global tournaments in mainline sports and have come up with some astonishing results leading to the confirmation of a idiosyncratic disease called "Loseritis", only to be found amongst top Brit sportsmen/women.

This disease had never been acknowledged, but now Brits are relieved to know that the lack of international successes was not just down to a lack of "BALLS" but certainly down to "Loseritis" which is rife among many top Brit athletes.

Scientists have explained to a shocked British public that this particular disease is mainly caused by the British way of life and eating disorders, i.e. consumption of too much white toast and Jam, Cornflakes, Daddies Sauce, Fish and Chips, Roastbeef Sunday dinners, milky tea and disgusting Brit coffee, etc.

Also the British weather is a major cause of the disease, windy, wet and very damp weather causes Brit athletes to become very pale, show signs of nausea, hence a certain lack of solar energy and balls whilst failing to jump the final hurdle, go to the MAX and stuff the rest!

Wimbledon 2009 proved these facts once more and the sickness was very plain to see in Andy Murray when confronted with a "mean fucking killing machine" in the form of Andy Roddick who pulverised Murray into surrender a lá his predecessor, "Double Faulting" Tim "The Gentleman" Henman.

"Loseritis" is now an official disease, Europe and the rest of the globe are on red alert and are putting travelling British athletes into quarantine in the hope that this dreadful disease does not become a pandemic and effect the rest of the world, including third world countries who do manage to produce winners including Kenya, Jamaica, Ethiopia, etc!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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