Written by Blazing Saddle
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Topics: Army, Guns

Sunday, 5 July 2009

image for British Army To Buy Guns From Foreign Firms - Soldiers Breathe Sigh Of Relief
Rirleperson X of the 1st Battalion Amalgamated Gay & Lesbian Friendly Hussars shows his/her trigger finger (& a spare).

In an new cost-cutting measure, Britain is to hand over the arming of British soldiers to foreign companies.

Despite Britain having led military weapon technology and development since 256 BC when the head butt was introduced, the Cabinet has decided to give up our clear lead in the world market.

The bazaars of Afgahnistan will now step up production of rifles to meet the shrinking army's requirements.

"We will be able to build in an electronic device that will ensure that the weapons never harm a non-Brit" says a BAE Systems spokesperson "and this will prevent criticism by the Health and Safety authorities".

The HSE has for some time been concerned that risk assessment for soldiers in the battle area is tricky "what with the bullets and bombs and all that running in hot places" according to a spokesperson, and wishes to reduce the risk that some of their offficials might have to carry out field research.

The Defence Part Time Office Junior stated "For many days since taking office I have been concerned that the ability to arm our forces was slipping out of government control - I have now removed that concern. Control is now in Kandahar. I take full credit for this measure which some might see as pennypinching".

Rifleperson X of the 1st Battalion Amalgamated Gay & Lesbian Friendly Hussars said "well, it'll make a nice change to be shot with guns sold by BAE Systems".

When this reporter pointed out that getting shot is not a good thing, Rifleperson X stated that I could tell that to the Marines.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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