The Centre Court at Wimbledon was vandalised in the early hours of the morning after Andy Murray lost to American, Andy Roddick. Groundsman, Lorne Mower and Court official, Theresa Green, awoke this morning to find large craters all on the touchlines, the net was torn to pieces, mud was splattered all over the glass roof and ball boys shorts were tied in knots and ball girls knickers were strewn all over the court. Someone had even urinated on the umpire's chair.
Meanwhile, the All England Lawn Tennis Association received a phone call from someone calling himself 'Tobermory' claiming responsibility for the damage. He said that he was a Scottish extremist Womble who was demonstrating against the English and claiming that their Andy Murray was a Briton when all along he was a Scot
As usual, In Seine News was there on the spot and available to interview 'Tobermory'. 'Tobermory' told In Seine News: "I am Scottish first and a Womble second and have been very patriotic and passionate about it. We Wombles have been at war for centuries and I want to distance myself from that bunch at Wimbledon Common who pick up litter for a living; I'd bet that Uncle Bulgaria was a spy for the KGB during the cold war and that Madame Cholet is just a French tart from the 2nd world war; I reckon that neither of them have passports and should be deported. Anyway if they are so good at picking up litter, then let them clean up the mess I made of the Centre Court!"