Written by Earl Grey
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Saturday, 4 July 2009

image for London Banks Hit By Kamikaze Plane Attacks
Horace Folded His P45 And Aimed For The NatWest Tower

London's banks were braced for another round of Kamikaze plane attacks today as bankers sought new ways to negotiate large bonuses.

Arselicker Darling condemned the 'Kamikaze' bankers today. "These chaps are out of order. Don't they know that there is a recession. Or at least there was. But with my skillful leadership-I mean with Gordon's skillful leadership-we have come out of the recession far stronger than either the Faroe Islands or Upper Volta. However, those 'Kamikaze' chaps-NO!"

There is a real problem in the city at the moment. Some buildings have taken direct hits from fighter planes piloted by bankers. With nothing left to lose the bankers have deliberately been causing crashes in the market.

One would-be Kamikaze is Brian Luckhurst. "They called me in and said that I could still have my bonus, but that it would be the last because of the adverse publicity. So I'm going to crash my plane into the side of the Bank of England".

It is thought that London will soon be a blazing inferno. This is the first case of divine wind for this government since John Prescott had a pickled onion before Remembrance Sunday five years ago.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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