Written by Chamone
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Saturday, 4 July 2009

image for Kerry Katona knickers split up the crotch
Knickers!

Bastard fuck-wit publicist Max Clifford has told the media to give to breathing space to his troubled client Kerry Katona after she split her knickers while doing the weekly shopping.

Clifford went on to tell anybody who was bothered listening - and was in possession of a tape recorder or pencil and paper - that Katona didn't want every sordid detail of her life splashed across the tabloid rags. Instead he insisted that it be covered on breakfast television so that he could get to parade his own charmless smarmy face in front of the cameras and receive a guest appearance fee.

Katona had apparently being buying a bag of crisps and a carton of chocolate yoghurt when she bent over and the incident occurred.

For some unknown reason, Clifford said that this had nothing whatsoever to do with her drug habit or an upcoming appearance in Blackpool to open an ice-cream cone museum.

Clifford went on to make reference to his friendship with Frank Sinatra - who he 'met' once - and how much money he makes from selling shite like this to lazy journalist's on a daily basis.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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