Written by Chamone
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Topics: Cars, Teens

Thursday, 2 July 2009

image for Separate road network to be created for Boy-Racers
Pimped-up rides like these will soon get their own roads

The Government has outlined plans to create a separate series of roads purely for the benefit of drivers between the ages of 18 to 24.

The roads will be 5-times wider than an average road so that the impatient little bastards can pass out at will. The roads will also have no bends and traffic lights that always stay green so that the drivers can get to and from nightclubs and chip shops as quickly as possible.

Having a very noisy engine and flashing LED lighting on the underside of the car will be a pre-requisite for access to these roads. Only drivers who display a tacky baseball cap and continuously spit out their driver-side windows will be allowed drive.

Instead of speed bumps, these special roads will have sections where, when you drive over them at great speed, loud pumping dance music from Underworld or Faithless will be pumped out at 150BPM.

Johnny Skanger from the 'Adolescants who don't give a Fuck' alliance welcomed the Governments move and described it as "about fucking time, mate".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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