Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: swine flu, Wimbledon

Thursday, 2 July 2009

image for Swine Flu Serves Up Misery At Wimbledon
The Outbreak Had Left Centre Court Strangely Empty

An outbreak of swine flu has led to panic at the Wimbledon tennis championships. Several ball boys and girls have been struck with the virus. They have been told to remain on court with Roger Federer and to cough all over him.

Three players have also been diagnosed with the virus. One, the un(bird)seeded American, Travis Parrott said "Bollocks, I'm as sick as a pig".

It is not sure how the outbreak started. Many spectators complained of feeling unwell after watching Alex Bogdoneabitch, the British number 3 and world number 8409375429. He often has that effect. One spectator said "It makes me so sick seeing him lose every year and still get paid. I'm so angry I'm going to write in to the Daily Mail."

In the women's draw the Williams sisters have appeared unconcerned about the virus. However, the virus may have ended the hopes of British number 1, Elena Balltoucha, in the second round. Then again, it may just be that she wasn't very good.

Medical staff have been brought in to make sure that Andrew Murray remains fit and healthy. Unless he loses.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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