The New even newer Tory party announced that David Cameron is Black, Queer and has just landed on the moon. The Daily telgram called the report bullocks and turds. The Black Guardean claims it has evidence that Cameron was golfing in Scotland and that his gay blackness is about as true as a tasty haggis.
To rebut the elite liberal media, the Tory Party has provided what it claims is actual footage of Cameron moonwalking, golfing and eating a tasty haggis on the lunar surface. A close up shot of the Tory Party leader unmistakenly proves that he is of the Negoid extraction, Lord Harrumph Hacking Cough told anyone who could be patient enough to listen through his interminable throat clearing.
Dark Poof Astronaut Cameron's difficult to decipher message from the moon seemed to say that in the UK Tory conservativism Old codgers Gone Wild as he appeared to pull up his kilt and dispaly a very difficult to identify sex organ.
Tory party commentators back on earth suggested that maybe this was the unveiling of the first Trans Tory PM candie, or just a little bit of technical difficulty...