Written by Jaggedone
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Wednesday, 1 July 2009

image for Scotland threaten to break away from the UK if Andy Murray wins Wimbledon
Andy Murray, proudly dressed in the dark blue of Bonny Scotland refuses to kiss the Union Jack if he wins!

On the 10th aniversary of Scottish devolution, the Scottish parliament, in the presence of the Queen, has officialy anounced that they will quit the UK and become totally autonomous if Andy Murray wins Wimbledon!!!

If Andy should "blow it" in typical British style, then they will remain certainly within the UK and Andy will be banned from mentioning the fact that he is Scottish!.

The Rt.Hon MSP (dressed in his tartan kilt and playing his bagpipes!) Alex Salmond, told a shocked audience, including the Royals, that this historical moment that could happen should rightly belong to "Bonny" Scotland and not have any connections to the rest of Britain.

Andy Murray has given Scotland his blessings and promised to represent the new independent state as a roving ambassador in the future, thus overshadowing "Big Brother" Englands attempts to win anything and putting Scotalnd firmly on the global map, up your kilt laddie!

When asked about this shock announcement the Queen promptly replied, "I'm fucking joining Andy, the Royal Family is sick to death of ruling over a country of losers, and at last we could have a Scottish champion, in fact my belongings at Buckingham Palace are already being packed just in case!"

The Rt.Hon Alex "Scottish" Salmond also mentioned the fact that when Andy wins Wimbledon, Hadrians Wall will be rebuilt, border controls set up and those Sassenach heathens will have to apply for a visa to enter "Bonny Scotland" home of the brave and a Winner!!!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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