Written by Blairwitch
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Tuesday, 30 June 2009

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Jacko's expenses claims

Following the recent revelations about MP's claims for moats and duck houses, it was revealed yesterday that former King of Pop, singer Michael Jackson was under investigation by the parliamentary ombudsmen over claims relating to his second home "Neverland".

Former Children's minister, Mr Jackson 50, continued to claim expenses for Neverland, despite living in the rented LA chateau where he suffered his fatal heart attack last week.

Since successfully defending his abuse allegations in 2004 Mr Jackson has not lived in his Neverland Ranch but yet has continued to claim over $250,000 per month in second home expenses. Accusation that Jacko had "flipped" some time ago, were also being investigated. His claims due to be published in tomorrow's Telegraph include :-

$20m Petty Cash payment (E Chandler)
$4m for fertility treatment
$350 to a LA Wig Maker
$20.61 for a fire extinguisher in the shape of a pepsi can.

Meanwhile it has emerged that former Premier Tony Blair has been in talks with God relating to the possibility that Jacko could be resurrected in order to save his "This is shit tour". Mr Blair's spokesman said "Discussions are at a very delicate stage at the moment , we only have a small three day window to get this done". President Obahma and Osama Bin Laden have also contacted God regarding Jacko's hastily renamed "Back to Life Tour". God's spokesman St Peter was reported to be "too busy dealing with emergency request for babysitting" to comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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