Written by Ron Smith
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Tuesday, 30 June 2009

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Oh My Darling What Have You Done With The Economy?

More details are emerging about the theft of the British economy by Romanian pickpockets last September.

As exclusively reported by this website yesterday, Alistair Darling believed that the economy was stolen from him by a gang of Romanians in Oxford Street when he popped out of the office to buy some tweezers from Boots the Chemist. "Two people shoved a piece of paper in my face and muttered something in a language I didn't understand. I said I wasn't interested and then felt a push in the back. I don't know what happened next, but I checked my jacket and realised that the gang had picked my pockets and the economy was missing."

Police have confirmed that the economy had turned up on eBay and was being auctioned with a reserve price of £1. Three months after receiving this information, the police took action, but it was too late, an anonymous bidder from Russia had already bought it.

Crimewatch have started a proper investigation, but the chances of recovering the economy intact are slim. "These criminals usually break up their ill-gotten gains and launder the proceeds through legitimate businesses, like MP's", said Crimewatch presenter Kirsty Young adding, "I was one of the first people to sit on a desk and read the news". A statement that has angered Countryfile presenter John Craven, who has vowed to kill Young with a spear if she doesn't announce publicly that he was the first person to sit on a desk and read the news when he was presenting Newsround in the 1970's.

Gordon Brown is furious.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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