Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Tennis

Sunday, 28 June 2009

image for Andy Murray mega-publicity scuppered by death of a certain Loony
Federer promises a rendition of "Don't cry for me AndyMurray" after crying relentlessly over the death of that

Scumbag dailies have decided to ignore the "Great British White Hope" and recently ressurected Fred Perry by focusing their attentions on the death of another "Great White Hope".

The constellation of the death of a certain "Loony" and Wimbledon couldn't have come at a worst time for Andy. He was just about to become the record breaking, Sun, Mirror and the rest of the scum dailies main target and that had to happen!

Andy and his power-crazed driven Mum are appealing for all publicity regarding that "Chimp-Child-loving Maniac" to stop immediately and that they should print non-stop, back to back meaningless stories about Andy and her Mum otherwise Andy's Mum has threatened to sell her exclusive stories solely to German rival and particularly scummy, "Die Bild Zeitung" run and owned by Boris Becker!

Andy himself will have nothing to do with his Mums rantings at the Brit press and has told her to either, "fuck off" in a strong Scottish accent or has threatened to adopt Martina Navratilova as his new Mummy! Showing solidarity to Lesbians, Child molestors and Sir Cliff Richard in one foul swoop!

We'll keep you informed of developments after Andy trounces Federer in the final or vice-versa!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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