Written by Earl Grey

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Topics: john Bercow

Tuesday, 23 June 2009

image for UN Called In As Speaker Election Result Queried
The UN will shortly move in

The United Nations has been called in to investigate election malpractice allegations following the election of a new speaker of the House of Commons. The allegations centre around the involvement of Lord Mandy of Dunspinning. He is thought to have been involved in the bribing of many Labour MPs.

One MP who wished to remain anonymous so we will call her Siobhan McDonagh said "Lord Mandy said if we did as he told we would still have a job after the next election."

John Cowbear was elected speaker. As he delivered his maiden speach the house was filled with cries of "Stand up!" Cowbear has said that his aim is to make the house more aware of public wishes. He intends to do this by never again hearing what his constituents wish to say.

The UN was called in because opposition MPs began to demonstrate in the House. At first it was just Anne Widdeybum crying and saying "If I was Caroline Flint you would have voted for me" but soon there were many more demonstrators. At one stage things got nasty as Nicholas Soames squared up to John Prescott. Thankfully a multinational disaster was averted when somebody offered Soames a vat of champagne and a bucket of truffles and Prescott a packet of lard.

Meanwhile Cowbear will aim to be the best short arse ever to be elected speaker following a corruption scandal during Gordon Broon's government.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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