MPs last night voted a hybrid monster the new House of Commons speaker. A Bear-Cow has been appointed to this important position. The creature is part bear and part cow.
The animal shits in the woods and lies down if there is going to be a storm. Nobody has dared to try to milk it-although that could be because MPs are far too busy milking the rest of the country.
The Bear-Cow is not the only strange mythical beast to have been elected. A Griffin was recently elected to the European Parliament. This animal is easily identifiable because it is covered in eggs and is rather stupid, as are those who voted for it. And few can forget the events of 1979 when Medusa became Prime Minister and began to turn the nation's industry to stone.
The Bear-Cow was originally a Conservative MP, but now he is more popular with the Labour party. Gordon Broon easily identifies with a dumb animal.