The British Parliament, reeling under the MP expenses scandal has decided to hit back at an ungrateful public electorate by banning toast, particularly toasted sandwiches, or 'toasties' as they are known.
One MP, Helmut Dagger (CON) told us:
"Personally I'm sick of all these whingeing voters throwing their toys out of the pram because I claimed £24,000 in expenses for having my au pair humped. We can hit back you know. So fuck all of you. We're banning toast. And especially toast with cheese on it, like that Welsh Rarebit shit."
Welsh Secretary Blodwyn Blodwyn Rhys Isnit reacted angrily to the announcement, saying:
"What's Welsh Rarebit ever done to him Bach? It's not bloody right this is isnit? Bastard claims £24,000 for humping his au pair and we're all going to be banned from enjoying cheese on toast because of his irresponsibility? That's never right boy isnit."
More toast related twattery as we get it.