Written by IainB
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Friday, 19 June 2009

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Hazel Blears survived a vote of no-confidence last night, and will remain as MP for Salford.

Initially, the people of Salford were upset at Blears, who has repaid the thirteen thousand pounds she fiddled out of the expenses system in Whitehall. However, an impassioned plea from the embattled MP has made the people of Salford realise that she really does have a handle on her constituents needs and understands them.

"It's simple really," said Blears in a press conference after the crisis meeting. "The people of Salford are. almost to an adult, benefit cheats and thieves. By cheating on my expenses I have gained an insight into their psyche."

Blears contends that by becoming a benefit cheat herself, she can now better serve her constituents.

"Let's just say that I am one of the people now," Blears added. "I can offer advice on how to screw the most money out of the benefit system to any of the people of Salford who come and see me. I've seen the system from the inside, and this puts me in a stronger position."

One local resident in Salford was surprised at her candour. "Bloody hell," said Rob Teevees, "I never looked at it that way before. Hats off to the lass, she's got my vote."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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