The scandal of MPs' extravagant expenses took a new twist last night when it was suggested that the claims made by MPs may have contributed to the abduction of Madeleine McCann.
The Daily Telegraph has published new information that shows that Edwin Loving-Discipline, 57, MP for Barnsley-Among-The-Racists, had claimed for, among other things, 'an apartment in Portugal with a secret basement' and 'ropes and stuff like that'. Also, Caroline Sex-And-The-City-Series-Three, 36, MP for Hard Riding South, had claimed for 'a little girl I could call my own'.
The McCanns, who are still classed as 'aguidos' (or 'last year's news' in Portuguese) say that this is an important breakthrough that can't be ignored by the highest-circulation newspapers. 'We have both had makeovers and are still doing the medicine thing and we can still look sad for pictures, too,' they said.
The police are keeping an open mind and say that, until the autobiographies are published, the case remains open.