London, UK - Irresistably studly Britain's Got Talent judge, Piers Morgan, has revealed himself naked with only a towel covering his nether lands and a gold medallion on a chain hanging from his neck; all of this as a result of an advertising campaign to promote Flame, a cologne inspired by Burger King, the American fast food burger outfit.
The perfume, curiously marketed as 'The Scent of Seduction, with the hint of flame-grilled meat', has been doing brisk business here in London since Piers Morgan lent his physique to the campaign, although it may coincide with a rise in tourists from America; tourists whom, upon landing at Heathrow, gravitate towards anything that reminds them of their recreational drug-filled, fast food drive-thru, SUV and pickup truck, suburban wastelands, for indeed Flame is evocative of everything peculiar about American society.
Flash forward to Britain and we see everything that is wrong with British society.
The campaign, has run into a bit of a snag. It has been found by local city sanitation workes that many of the advertisments have been ripped from their holders and shredded into little pieces; this act of destruction occurring sometime in the wee hours of the morn. The culprit is presumed to be former Idol contestant and Piers admirer, Susan Boyle.
Metropolitan Police have issued a warrant for Ms. Boyle's arrest and have warned the populace that the suspect may be dangerous. She may be armed with a box cutter, a baseball bat, and a deep sense of betrayal. Compounding the problem is the fact that many of these same aforementioned American tourists have a fanatical attraction to Ms. Boyle and it is feared that the suspect may use this to lure them in for the purpose of bringing about their untimely demise.