Mad donna has today launched an audacious bid to adopt baby faced Arsenal star Theo Walcott. Mad donna spotted his distraught picture in the newspaper the other day and told her assistants she wanted him.
When the assistants tried to point out to the ayatollah of pop that he was actually a fit and healthy 20 year old international footballer with a loving family and was born in raised in Newbury she is said to have gone ballistic.
She has declared that his parents must be killed off and has demanded talks with the village elders. The next meeting has been convened for the 21st as long as Edna who is currently undergoing treatment for an embarrassing bout of dryrot is better.