Rich bankers were today warned that their excessive lifestyles could be putting their lives at risk, following the fatal shooting, with a gun, of a rich French banker.
The banker, who cannot be named, even though the case has been described in detail in the world's press, was shot by his dominatrix mistress in a kinky sex session which went horribly wrong.
It appears that the man was shot in the head whilst wearing a latex suit and restraints as he was tied to a chair in Switzerland. And then shot some more for good measure, resulting in his demise.
Sergeant Pierre Pierrepoint of the Swiss Police told us:
"The man and the woman, who was not his wife, were engaged in sado-masochistic bondage activities, with the male being left in a vulnerable situation. At which point he taunted his tormentor, who we can only assume that he wanted to be tormented by, given the circumstances. It all got too much for the dominatrix, who then took advantage of the situation by shooting the banker repeatedly with his own gun. Which he was carrying for personal protection in case he encountered irate bank customers."
The dominatrix has since expressed extreme regret for her actions and asked for the case to be regarded as a 'crime passionelle' - a crime of passion. She relayed to us that the banker had told her that she was a whore and that all the money he had lavished on her was a waste of money. So she shot him dead.
The Union Of European Prostitutes announced that any banker who took the piss was placing himself at risk. Especially if he was in possession of a loaded gun.
Pierrepoint told us:
"It was bad, but it could have been worse. At least he was with a woman. Not jammed alone in some fucking wardrobe in an extremely embarrassing fatal situation."
More string and bullet related spoofery as it comes in.