Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 6 June 2009

image for Beware Of String And Ropes
You Probably Wouldn't Mint Getting Your Neck Entangled In A String Like This One.

The Health and Safety Executive, together with the World Masturbation Council today called for stricter controls and clearer printed warnings on all string and rope products following the accidental death of Kung Fu actor David Carradine, who popped his clogs whilst having a rope themed tommy tank in a Bangkok hotel room.

"Wanking with Venetian blind cords or bits of string can prove fatal," a director of the World Masturbation Council told us. "There have been too many of these incidents recently, with people tying ropes around their necks and having a crafty wank, only to lose their lives in the most embarrassing circumstances. It's tragic. What we're aiming to do is to have all rope, string and cord manufacturers to print large warnings on their products warning against tying these products around their necks whilst wanking."

A spokesman for the Health and safety Executive added:

"We can't emphasise strongly enough that tying a rope around your neck and having a wank can be an extremely dangerous path to tread. If manufacturers print large warnings on their string, rope, and cord products, it could save as many wankers as one a year. Losing one wanker is losing one too many."

We will bring you more in these wank tragedy ridden times as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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