Following on from a TV documentary which depicted American couples who prefer to adopt monkeys to children, the British Baby Company (BBC) has lashed out with a stinging critical left hook at the monkey supporters.
"What these people are doing is just wrong," Jane, ex-wife of Tarzan of the apes told us. "They're taking monkeys, which are wild animals and treating them like human kids and dressing them up and shit."
Which was fierce enough criticism in itself, but there was fiercer to come:
"Monkeys aren't like people," Debbie Creampie, of Barnstaple told us. "Monkeys don't wear make-up in real life, and they don't appreciate being used as surrogate children. Monkeys get older and grouchier and sometimes quite aggressive. They were never intended to be pets, let alone surrogate children. Leave monkeys alone for God's sake!"
A leading UK monkey expert told us:
"They don't relate to all this surrogate human thing. They just like to eat, chill out, watch TV, fuck, and throw shit all over the place."
More as we get it.