Scramble Central at Spoof HQ today as we received an E-mail informing us that Blue Peter dog, Shep, has died.
Hurriedly grabbing our equipment and constantly on the look out for Taleban insurgents we raced to Shepherd's Bush, ignoring the market, and made the short walk to BBC HQ.
"Of course Shep's dead," a security guard told us as he refused us entry. "Bloody dog's been dead for years. What's the matter with you people?"
Unfazed, we demanded to see John Noakes, only to be told that he'd retired years ago. Similar requests to see Valerie Singleton and Peter Purves were similarly rebuffed.
We wandered about for a bit outside television centre looking for someone to give us a soundbite. Eventually we stumbled upon roly poly Bolton funnyman Peter Kaye, who told us:
"It's not Shep dying you should be making a story of. Oh no. It's Sacha Baron Cohen doing a Bruno and sticking his arse in Eminem's face. That's the big story of the day. Susan Boyle and all that. History."
We asked roly poly Bolton funnyman Kaye what he was doing at the BBC, but he wouldn't say. He did however give us a clue:
"Garlic bread," he said, enigmatically. "Let's have a look at what you could have won..."
More as we get it.