It has been revealed that the Paeter Pan of pop, Michael Jackson, who was recently revealed to be suffering from skin cancer, or not, depending on your sources has been refusing to eat more than one meal a day as he fears that putting on weight will be detrimental to his fight against the potentially fatal disease. Which he may or may not have. Depending on your sources.
Jackson's weight has dropped to less than 8 Stone (112lbs) which is a bit skinny for a five foot ten tall bloke and has raised concerns regarding the star's ability to perform 50 gruelling sell out London shows this year.
Some critics have not been kind, alleging that Jackson never intended to perform the 50 shows in the first place and cynically manipulated fans into buying tickets so that he could cry off and pocket the money.
"Possession is nine tenths of the law," a critic told us. "Jackson possesses a large percentage of his fans' money and in my opinion, intends keeping it. I don't think he'll worry too much about being sued for not going ahead with these shows. He has an excellent record in court cases."
More as we get it.
Update: Remember, you read it here first. www.theSpoof.com
Excellent way of throwing a sicky.
Actually, the ultimate way of throwing a sicky.