Sources within Downing Street have indicated that Harridan Harpy is likely to receive a major promotion in the Cabinet reshuffle expected after Thursday's Local and European Elections.
Harman, who is currently in The Priory being treated for exhaustion after a long and tiring 12-hour media tour extolling the virtues of Gollum Brown, is tipped for much greater responsibility in the reshuffle, with the PM running out of people he can trust to do his bidding.
A Downing Street source said, "basically, with all the quitting that's been going on, and with David Millipede and Postman Johnson challenging The Saviour of the World, Gordon now knows that Harriet's the only person who's still prepared to shill on his behalf.
"As a result, Harridan will be taking on the newly-created role of Secretary of State for Everything, replacing all the other members of the Cabinet.
"With this radical, ground-breaking approach, the Prime Minister will ensure that he has at least one loyal Cabinet Member who's prepared to still pretend The Great Leader's sane".
Jacqui Smith was unavailable for comment, as she was at home watching porn with Richard Timney.