Gordon Brown the puppet Prime Minister of Britain, last night checked into the 'Priory' Hospital for loony celebrities- in an adjoining room to Susan Boyle before he embarked on a week long training session with street dance 'effnik' group 'Diversity'.
Mr Brown told the boys he was glad they had won and not 'Flawless' or the break dancing pensioner Fred Bowers, as their routines looked a bit hard and complex for his flabby body. He thought he would fit in quite nicely performing their gentler comedy routine.
Before his training starts, he was advised by Simon Cowell and Max Clifford the Emperor and King of England respectively, to book himself into the 'Priory' to ensure he was mentally ready for all the fame and attention he would get by performing street dance.
Cowell said "Mr Brown is not used to fame, a high profile career, talking coherently to the media or being recognised in the street and when he joins 'Diversity' this will all change".
Mr Brown was heard singing Scottish Folk tunes with Susan Boyle by hospital staff. Mr Joseph Obedeya said " Susan was singing Donald Where's Your Troosers, while Mr Brown was banging two spoons on his thighs. I think he thought he sounded good, but to be honest he sounded like a lunatic banging two spoons on his thighs."
Mr Brown will spend two weeks at the 'Priory' having his head examined and possible shock treatment. King Max Clifford said "This will prepare him mentally for doing live shows, Nowokhello magazine photo-shoots and more reality TV programmes"
Gordon Brown was in fine spirits when he talked to reporters tonight and used Action Man figures to demonstrate what he and 'Diversity' would do to the BNP when he got out of hospital.
"We'll bam em and blast em like this" said the Prime Minster crashing two army dolls together. He also said he would take Mr Griffin out with a forward roll and and a back flip.
The Prime Minister attempted to demonstrate this to the equally unbalanced reporters, but sadly he was wearing a traditional hospital gown and when he rolled over his unfettered knackers were on display for all the world to see. The nurses quickly shooed reporters out of the his private cell and he could be heard banging on Susan Boyle's wall - inviting her to a midnight feast.
No-one has the heart to tell Mr Brown that most of the people who voted for 'Diversity'; not only voted fifty times each, but they won't be eligible to vote in a political election until 2017.
Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan also hired groups of Chinese children, who normally make training shoes to vote non-stop for 'Diversity' 24 million times in 90 minutes. Ensuring Boyle would lose and not disgrace herself in front of the Queen. Enabling both megalomaniacs to get their promised Knighthoods for services to distracting the public from politics.
The country is in a mess!