Written by matwil
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 30 May 2009

image for Royal suspended in new expenses row
Prince X's luggage jet awaiting take-off

A member of the Royal Family has now been suspended, as it was revealed that he'd spent an incredible amount of taxpayers' money on totally non-essential items.

Prince 'X' had made claims for:

Millions of pounds in RAF helicopter-flying lessons, though he will never fight in any war; the use of not only part of two homes, but also the use of part of at least eight other homes, and all of them not flats but stately homes and castles;

Travel expenses around the UK and the world, that would pay for transporting thousands of people a year to anywhere they wanted; the upkeep of millions of acres of forestry; the wages of thousands of unneeded employees to look after him and his family; thousands of pounds to arrange pointless appearances in the news, when nobody is interested in him;

The wages of hundreds of PR consultants, to suggest to him his latest stunt to get into the news; hundreds of thousands of pounds to put him through an Army training course, when he'll never fight in a war (see helicopter lessons);

Endless gourmet meals served by servants, and luxury cars driven by chauffeurs; 48 holidays every year, half of them abroad; and the hire of models to pose as girlfriends, to get him in to the news, when nobody is interested in him (see pointless appearances and PR wages).

The Prince himself, having been flown at a cost of £3.2 million to a city 3,000 miles away with an entourage of over 40, and already booked in to the most expensive hotel in that city - at another cost of thousands of pounds - said: 'Well, look, [snorts like a pig], what? I mean, those MPs make me buhloody angry, ripping awf their voters and stuff. What they need is a good, hard day's work, that'll soon sort the oiks out!'

'But an MP only gets one palace to live in, that weird one at Westminster, so maybe it's rather tough for them. There's over 600 of the blighters in the place?! No wonder they steal everything they can, it must be like some sort of smelly, Victorian workhouse in there! I saw 'Oliver!' once, so I know all about the working class.'

'Take me to the Grand Canyon for an-ice cream, driver, and don't spare the taxpayers' money!', for the Prince's suspension order hadn't been flown over on an air force jet yet, and he would be spending more British taxes seeing the sights of the USA for the next month.

Make matwil's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 3?

3 16 12 21

Go to top