Written by Phil McAvity
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Saturday, 30 May 2009

image for 2009 FA Cup Final Sensationally Axed As Thieves Steal Wembley Stadium!
An artists impression of the getaway vehicle.

Police have sensationally cancelled this afternoon's FA Cup Final between Chelsea and Everton after it was discovered around 10.30 am this morning that thieves have stolen Wembley Stadium.

The theft wasn't discovered until mid morning because the thieves had cleverly hidden their tracks by replacing the stolen super stadium with Grimsby Town's Blundell Park ground. No-one noticed anything was amiss until Wembley's ticket office manager Ron Turnstile tried to open the office just after 10.30 and found his keys no longer fitted the lock.

Suspicions had been aroused earlier when several cleaners reported "a strong smell of fish" apparent within the confines of the stadium, but no action was taken.

Police have reacted quickly to the crisis, and have scanned CCTV footage from the last 24 hours. Detective Inspector Clive Wassall-Disden from the serious crimes squad has issued a statement saying the hunt is now on for a white transit van which it is believed the gangsters bundled Wembley into before making their getaway. The van was last seen heading towards Dartford, and it is believed the thieves are planning to sell the stadium abroad - possibly as far afield as South Africa.

Police are asking members of the public to be extra vigilant and keep their eyes peeled for a large stadium, or to immediately report to their local police station should anyone offer to sell them a football ground on the cheap.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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