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Friday, 29 May 2009

image for Britain's Got Talent Stavros Flatley May Miss Final
Look, It's All Swollen Up!

Greek Irish dancing duet from Cyprus, Stavros Flatley, may not be able to perform in the Britain's Got Talent Final here on Saturday as Demetrios Demetriou, father of Lagi, his dance partner, sustained a fractured metatarsal bone in his left foot following a kickabout with a football on the car park of the BGT hotel in Wembley.

"I just felt it go, and thought, oh no..." Demetrios told us this morning. "I went in for a 50/50 ball with that dirty cheating breakdancing pensioner bastard Fred Bowers and he left his foot in. It's really painful and I've been advised to fly to Canada immediately where I'm told that there's a surgeon who may be able to treat the injury so that I can perform. I'm keeping my fingers crossed."

"This is terrible," a hotel waiter told us. "I've seen Beckham and Rooney go through this. It's like deja vu."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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