Written by Roy Turse
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Topics: MPs, Expenses, Thief, Crook

Thursday, 28 May 2009

image for Julie Kirkbride worries that criticism of MPs may deter thieving scum from standing as MPs in future

According to recent reports, Ms Kirkbride is concerned that criticism of her use of the MPs' expenses system might deter crooks from standing for Parliament. She is understood to be concerned that thieves that are currently working in the private sector will decide that being called to account over expenses would be too much of a burden, and that the easy pickings of previous MPs would no longer be available.

Under the previous implementation of rules, there was an obvious incentive for crooks to stand as MPs. Provided they had no prior convictions, the opportunities for stealing and cheating were vast. However, Ms Kirkbride believes that this will change following the criticism that is being leveled at her.

She could well be right. We contacted some thieving scum and asked them if they were likely to stand for Parliament. Ninety percent said no. The reasons given varied, with "I wouldn't want people to think I was that kind of a person" as the top answer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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