Written by matwil
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Wednesday, 27 May 2009

image for Royal Family boss pulls out of garden party
'Bloody fat, pansy slug, I'm glad I'm not going to the blasted party!'

The leader of the Royal Family has said he will not attend a Buckingham Palace garden party. Prince Philip said he had 'no wish to embarrass the Queen' at the event.

He had been invited to attend by his four children, and speaking from outside the House of Lords he said he could have 'had a great deal of fun at the bash', but didn't want his wife to get a very red face.

BNP leader Nick Griffin is due to take the Prince's place, and welcomed the decision. 'He's not really British, is he? We don't want that sort at Her Majesty's party, we don't want any Johnny Foreigner just coming along and helping himself to all the foreign food that I'm so looking forward to eating.'

The BNP advocates the resettlement of European princes and princesses living here, so advocates most of the Royal Family to be deported from London to either Germany, Denmark, Greece or Scotland.

A spokesman for anti-racist group Starchwhite said it was pleased that 'the gates of Buckingham Palace had been locked while Prince Philip wasn't looking', and called for journalists to 'not wander round West London hoping to meet the Prince, to get one of his legendary off-the-cuff remarks'. The Duke of Edinburgh himself was sulking in the Duck and Lavatory Brush, in Kensington.

'If they're serving salad at the party, let's hope they put that big, fat slug Nick Griffin into it! Another scotch and soda, barman, and a packet of roast swan and thyme crisps.' Latest score coming in - House of Windsor 1 BNP 0.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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