Written by Frank Cotolo

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Topics: London, England

Sunday, 4 July 2004

image for Lane's gay and so what?
Nathan Lane waits for attention in gay garb.

LONDON -- Stage actor Nathan Lane came to England recently to hold a press conference revealing that he is a homosexual.

When word leaked out about the topic of the press conference, no reporters showed up.

"We know he is gay," said one reporter.

"Everyone knows he is gay," said another reporter, "so what?"

Mr. Lane's press manager said, "I thought things were different across the pond. I thought they would be interested in my client's sexual preference. I thought this would get him the attention he needs over here."

Mr. Lane checked into the Winston Churchill Hotel after waiting an hour for reporters to show up and talk to him. When no one showed, Mr. Lane said, "Maybe I should go straight. That they would print."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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